FAITH

WEEKLY WORD | Dealing with "If Only…"

October 12, 2013
Women's Devotional // Dealing with "If Only" and Regret | The Feisty HouseForgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:13, 14 (NKJV)

Most of us have done or said something we regret. We find ourselves living with “if only.” If only I’d gone back to school. If only I’d dated more. If only I hadn’t dated him. If only I’d asked for that raise. If only I’d started this business earlier. If only I’d saved more money. If only…

Living with regret doesn’t make sense. We can’t change the past. We can’t go back in time and right our wrongs or make better decisions. But it’s hard not to think about what could be, especially when what’s happening in your life now…sucks. I’ve had my own regrets. I’ve regretted staying in a lame ass relationship (for like 4 years) out of fear of being single. I’ve regretted not having more fun while I was in undergrad. Lately, my biggest regret has been that I never pursued my passions in school. I didn’t trust that I could make a living in graphic design or as an entrepreneur like my father did, so I went the healthcare route. And sure, we’re always going to need public health professionals, but I can’t honestly say that health statistics are my passion.

When you find yourself focusing on your past and becoming fixated on your regrets, stop. Seriously, just stop. The past is the past, and it’s over. Now is the time to set new goals and focus on those. Like we read in our verse today, forget the things that are behind you and start reaching towards new accomplishments. Tell the Lord your regrets, pray about your new dreams, and let Him lead you to an amazing future.

It won’t always be easy; you may have to deal with the consequences of your past actions. It hasn’t been easy for me to get a new business off the ground without having gone to school for what I want to do now, and while working a full-time job in a totally unrelated field. Sometimes I get really frustrated, but I don’t want to live with those regrets of not pursing my passions anymore. You may run into some difficulties based on your past decisions, but you can overcome your regret! Just keep your eyes on the prize, ladies!

Photo Source: Nate Smith Photo

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  • Word of truth. I find myself in that place of “Stop Already AdeOla” and move. Why focus on what you could have done differently when you can start doing it now. It is a new day with new mercies, new strenght…new Errrything! Let’s go. Thanks

  • SixTwentySeven

    Nice post. Lately I’ve found myself having episodes where I start thinking about the past and I have to snap myself out of it. I think, I’m only 29 and that’s by far too young to be reminiscing on life. I have (God willing) more days ahead of me, than behind me, so it’s onward and upward! Something I heard recently on public radio: The past is a canceled check, the present is cash, and the future is a promissory note. Invest in your cash… it’s what you actually have.

  • Nakeysha Marchena-Smith

    Nail…Head. This post gave me life Koos!

    I’m a perfectionist, so I’m always thinking, “man I should have x,y and z’d. But then I remember I’m still young. I can still do something I love vs being stuck in something I tolerate. AND SO CAN YOU! You have no idea how much joy you gave me when you said “lame ass relationship”…I’m pretty sure you do. i’m glad that you are pursing something that you love, because you don’t want to be 40 thinking the “what ifs”. When I leave this earth I want to say I was true to my heart,success or failure, I was true.

  • Keysh

    Nail…Head. This post gave me life Koos!

    I’m a perfectionist, so I’m always thinking, “man I should have x,y and z’d. But then I remember I’m still young. I can still do something I love vs being stuck in something I tolerate. AND SO CAN YOU! You have no idea how much joy you gave me when you said “lame ass relationship”…I’m pretty sure you do. i’m glad that you are pursing something that you love, because you don’t want to be 40 thinking the “what ifs”. When I leave this earth I want to say I was true to my heart,success or failure, I was true.

  • Jenny

    Thank you, especially for that bible scripture.

  • Awwww, you’re welcome Jenny.

  • I couldn’t agree with you more. Thanks so much for the encouraging words Keysh! Definitely keep me posted on your business too!

  • I LOVE that quote you shared! You’re right…we’re way too young to be reminiscing and thinking about “what if” and “if only.” Thanks for the encouragement!

  • Yes! Let’s go! Thanks to you, AdeOla!

  • Great advice! Needed those words today.

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