My reflection kinda had me fooled
I was looking at a man that I never knew
It was normal to see, so I thought it was me
I never meant to change
I’m just glad I realized
Before it was too late, way too late
I need another chance to get back to who I am
So I wanna head back into Your hands
Wanna follow Your plans
Don’t wanna be lost no more
May be a long way home, but I won’t make a move ’till You tell me to.
Oh, Lord, it’s me again
Please don’t let my current circumstances
Turn me into a common man
See, I just wanna be, be the uncommon me
Oh, this is my prayer today
I don’t ever wanna change
No mistake the way You made me
Wanna be the uncommon me
Uncommon Me (by Isacc Carree)
To tell you the truth, I’m in a really great place in my life. I have absolutely no complaints. I’m not going through any trials. I’m in a wonderful relationship, I have great friends, I’m financially secure (praise God, because it wasn’t always like that), and I just moved to one of the most exciting cities in the world. I don’t really NEED anything. Spiritually though, that’s a dangerous place for me to be.
I’ve developed my spiritual life through trials. I was always talking to God because I was always going through something, and I was in constant need of His support, His guidance, and His help. In college I prayed through tests and prayed for direction regarding grad school. When I graduated and moved to D.C., I supported myself on an intern’s income and relied completely on God because I couldn’t afford simple things, like gas or my cell phone bill. God worked so many miracles in my life between 2007 and 2011. During those 5 years of my life, I was the most faithful I’ve ever been.
Then in 2012, something changed. Everything was…perfect. I didn’t need to ask God for money or help. I didn’t need as much of His support because I had everything I wanted. I checked in once in a while for guidance here and there, but I made a lot of decisions based on how I felt versus what I thought God wanted.
Now it’s 2013, and I’ve noticed that I’m not as close to God as I used to be. You all can probably tell (my last WEEKLY WORD was in September). Frankly, I’m not okay with that. Everything is wonderful in my life, and now I’m in living in my dream city, but like Isaac Carree writes in his song, “Uncommon Me,” I don’t want my circumstances, as pleasing as they might be, to change me into something I’m not. I don’t want to change. I want to stay the same person I was when my relationship with God was tight. I want to keep talking to God every day. I don’t want to be like everyone else, rushing through life and chasing dreams. I want to live with purpose and become the person God has intended me to be.
In a city like New York, where everything is new and wonderful and fast and accessible and inspiring, it’s easy to forget God and just focus on the moment. But God is the reason why I’m here. I can’t tell you all the crazy things that happened to me over the past 6 months that made this move possible (we’d be here all day), but I can tell you that it’s clear God wants me here for a reason. He’s blessed me with so much, and I can’t keep ignoring Him because things are good. I need to get back to spending time in prayer every day and night. I need to search the scriptures and grow spiritually, not just read the Bible for the sake of doing so. I need to prioritize finding a church up here that helps me become more accountable for my actions and trains me for discipleship. And I need to be a better example of Jesus’ love to people I come into contact with. Pray that I’m able to get back to God soon! I’ve missed Him, and I’m ready to get back to being the “uncommon me.”